Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize