I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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