Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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