I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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