Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

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(216): My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes http://tfl.nu/wpjq

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(845): View more from New York

At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare. http://tfl.nu/jdv9

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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(609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm

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(314): View more from Missouri

so how does one go about finding a summer fling?

(214): View more from Texas

take advantage of an intern

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(314): so how does one go about finding a summer fling? (214): take advantage of an intern http://tfl.nu/k22l

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(773): View more from Illinois

When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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(773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m

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(905): View more from Ontario

She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris

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(905): She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris http://tfl.nu/nmbr

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up

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(412): I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up http://tfl.nu/fu0m

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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(774): According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/1yfv

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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4

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(573): View more from Missouri

You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.

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(573): You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad. http://tfl.nu/q4da

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(404): View more from Georgia

I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

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(404): I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/o66a

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(719): View more from Colorado

Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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(719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq

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(773): View more from Illinois

Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

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(773): Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important. http://tfl.nu/scnm

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(904): View more from Florida

I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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(904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x

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(517): View more from Michigan

There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE

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(517): There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE http://tfl.nu/onaq

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