I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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