Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize