You're my little dorito
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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