It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize