So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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