Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
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Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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