gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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