I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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