I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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