why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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