I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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