Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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