i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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