I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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