I hate your face
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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