he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
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So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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