My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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