After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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