we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize