After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize