Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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