I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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