When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize