What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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