ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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