He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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