Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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