first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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