So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize