Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize