I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize