Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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