My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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