Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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