My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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