She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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