I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize