Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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