You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize