I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize