Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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