girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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