got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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