Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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