Already got asked if we're dating
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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